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What is a Welcoming Congregation?

In 1995, the UUFW became a "Welcoming Congregation." What is that? A Welcoming Congregation publicly, officially, and sincerely welcomes bisexual, gay, lesbian, and transgender people (B/G/L/T). Why single out this group of people? Most organized religions have historically excluded B/G/L/T people while the UU Church has historically been the model for justice and equality. Because this community has faced such opposition and hatred elsewhere, UUs are called upon to assist them in finding a spiritual home.

An 'official' Welcoming Congregation affirms the diversity of its congregation and supports the needs of its members. Because much has changed in the decade since the workshops, and with the 'marriage issue' currently dividing our country, many UUFW members who participated in the 1995 workshops felt that it was time to 'update' the commitment to diversity.

The Welcoming Congregation Workshops: What Happened? Part I

Every Sunday for a month prior to the beginning of the six workshops concerning the “Welcoming Congregation,” members of the congregation at both Sunday services were asked to respond to one question concerning attitudes and feelings about people who designate themselves as bisexual, gay, lesbian and/or transgender. There was as two-fold purpose in conducting the survey: First those organizing the workshops were interested in knowing how UUFW members felt about B,G,L,T individuals and secondly, we wanted to create interest in the workshops and have as many participants as possible. Here are the results of the survey questions.

1. How would you feel if your child’s overnight chaperone at a church function was bi-bisexual, gay, lesbian and/or transsexual (BGLT) or heterosexual?

Thirty seven people responded with 28 answering that they were “Comfortable” with all 5 categories.

One person responded “comfortable” to all 5 but added “assuming that the person was not a pedophile.”

One person responded “somewhat comfortable” to all 5 questions and 4 “comfortable” to all but one as follows: 2 “not sure” for transgender; 2 “somewhat comfortable” for transgender; 1 “not sure” to all except a “comfortable” for heterosexual; 1 “comfortable” for all except “somewhat comfortable” for bi & trans and 1 person “comfortable” to all except “somewhat comfortable” for bi and trans.

2. How would you feel if your best friend, son/daughter, mother/father began dating someone of the same gender? What if the above wanted to marry someone of the same gender? (Ratings were 1= very uncomfortable & 10 = very comfortable)

Twenty-nine people responded with 17 giving a 10 in each category. The most uncomfortable ratings were given when a child or parent wanted to marry a same gender person.

3. How would you feel if your best friend announced that s/he was B,G,L,T?

Thirty- four people answered the question. Twenty–seven were comfortable with all categories. Four people were “somewhat comfortable” and one was “uncomfortable” with transgender. One response was “somewhat uncomfortable” with bisexual and one “somewhat comfortable’ with b, l,& g.

How would you feel if the person sitting next to you was b, g, l, t, or heterosexual?

Thirty-nine people voted. Thirty-four voted that they would be comfortable with all; four voted “somewhat comfortable” with a transgender person; one wasn’t sure about being next to a bisexual and one person did not vote but commented that s/he would be uncomfortable sitting next to “someone deliberately dressed as a person of the opposite sex.”

While four questions can hardly be seen as a definitive answer to the question “is UUFW truly a ‘welcoming’ congregation, they do point out that people are more comfortable with Gay and or Lesbian persons than Bisexual or Transgender.

The handbook used in the study sessions was THE WELCOMING CONGREGATION HANDBOOK, second edition, prepared by the Unitarian Universalist Association Office of Bisexual, Gay, Lesbian, and Transgender Concerns. The Rev Keith Kron states in his introduction: “What our eight-year history with the Welcoming Congregation Program and our thirty-year history around dismantling homophobia tells us is that as people work through their understanding of homophobia, biphobia, transphobia, and heterosexism, they progress in predictable ways. People deal with homophobia first, then biphobia, and finally transphobia in that order.”

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